I'm not a seasoned expert on men's fashion, but I do know how to separate the truth from drivel. Basically, what looks good and can last versus a short term trend. I'm going to provide you a brief guide on the perils of men's fashion. Buckle up.
Spandex: This is practical for professional athletes or those training for athletic competition, such as road bike racing or track and field. You need to be in great shape to pull it off. Even if you have great quads or giant glutes, having them on full display in the wrong situation, along with your package, is still an eye sore. It's best to think "less is more." Let the ladies give you something nice to look at instead of your buddy. If you really need to squeeze them on, then wear something over them like shorts.
UGG Australia boots: These boots are a trend for women, meaning it's overpriced and designed for their looks and comfort. Men need boots that are also comfortable, but rugged, durable, waterproof and mean. They have a men's line but the brand is strongly associated for women. So don't fool yourself, even if your girlfriend is. Go instead for Red Wings, Timberlands, Sorel, Clarks or L.L. Bean. Bed/Stu is a newer brand but uses old world fundamentals. Also, never tuck your pants into your boots unless you're climbing a mountain.
Shorts: Wearing casual shorts is comfortable during the warmer months, but make sure they're the proper length, which is past mid thigh and at or above the knee. Michael Jordan had the right idea when he went to longer shorts, possibly starting this thankful trend. Also, it's imperative to wear shorts at this length during a workout to avoid a free peep show of the family jewels. Again, "less is more." And don't wear jean shorts.
Loud Sports Jacket: Loud professional sport jackets emblazoned with your favorite team logo can be a blinding experience. It's great to know you love the Cubs, but to announce it 5 miles away is a bit too much. For some reason, teams that design these jackets think they need their logo and colors super bold, possibly converting us to their team. Go for something more subtle and understated, with low key prints, colors subdued or only wear it to the game. Sports clothes is less a fashion statement and more an affiliation for your favorite team.
Socks with Sandals: Logically, this just doesn't make sense, just like wearing suspenders with a belt. But it still doesn't stop some of us from giving it a go. Sandals are designed so your feet are exposed, usually due to warm climates, letting them breathe. So wearing socks defeats the purpose. Put on shoes if socks are necessary.
Novelty Tee Shirts: We've all seen them. Maybe it was a gift with good intentions or at the time, it just seemed so funny you had to have it. Well, it's not so funny when that cute girl thinks you're a dork but digs your friend in the blazer and button down. These shirts are trendy, tacky and won't work in most situations, other than buffing polish on your dress shoes or hanging out at home. Personally, I like plain tees or something with understated graphics. Don't think Ed Hardy.
Baggy Clothes: Unless you're going for the baggy look or you're a hip hop star or you're 15, try to avoid wearing clothes that are too big for your britches. Sloppy, loose fitting clothes give the impression of laziness, not only with your clothes, but your lifestyle as well. Wear clothes that fit your build comfortably. So avoid overhanging sleeves and pants dragging the floor when you walk. And if you work out, then you should wear something that reflects all that hard work. Not tight pants or shirts like it was painted on, but form fitting, letting it drape. It's especially important to wear suits that fit properly because it's usually for an important situation.
Designer Logo or Labels: Logos from designers in easily visible locations on your clothes is like seeking approval when we were in high school. We don't need branding because we're confident right? D&G logos or Gucci on the front of your shirt will make you seem insecure and maybe even a snob. If you're wearing something of quality, the people that need to know - will. If you really need to have people know you spent 0 on your jeans, then maybe you need to take a hard look at your priorities. Most designers have caught on to this so it's a relatively easy choice to go for a subtle appearance and not compromise on quality.
Skinny Jeans: Unless you're related to Joey Ramone or Robert Plant or in a punk band, please leave these where you found them. This is a current fad that should die soon and be forgotten. It's a battle to squeeze them on, especially if you work out or slightly chub. Simply wave the white flag of defeat. Most importantly, they put your package in a compromising position. They also make your legs look skinny and putrid, a look that never strikes fear or attracts the object of your desire. Let the ladies squeeze them on instead.
So there you have it. Following these simple tips should lead to a better looking you, avoiding side glances and unexpected giggles.
